What the Travel Brochures Don't Tell You

Tahiti_07

An ancient proverb says it well: 'To lie about a far country is easy'.

And while travel brochures - those wonderful glossy productions pitched somewhere between a coffee table decoration and a work of art - don't set out to be actually misleading, the end-result sometimes strays a little from the truth.

In these publications the sun always shines, everyone smiles, all food is fresh, the water safe, fish line up to be hooked, and exhausted adjectives like 'beautiful, stunning, super, azure and  dazzling' end up needing a vacation themselves after their workout.

But if you are alert (and perhaps a trifle cynical) other phrases can take on a whole new meaning too:

  • 'Natural beauty' may mean that the resort is still developing. This is fine if you like sand in your shoes and frequent power blackouts. 
  • Beware, too, any compound word that begins 'eco...'. It may be a synonym for unfinished. Or at least more 'natural' than you might choose.
  • 'Secluded' (also 'quiet, remote') strikes a chord if you are frazzled by the speed of city living, but do check whether you will be so sidelined that you must trudge a kilometre from the end of the bus route, or down/up a cliff from the road to get there. 
  • 'Private' conjures up visions of silence and peace too. Hope that this is what it means, rather than a room so far from the restaurant/swimming pool/bar that you walk blisters getting there.
  • 'Self-contained accommodation' can mean you've just bought a package where you have become your own maid and cook. Check there is also room service or somewhere to eat before you become the newest (unpaid) staff member.
  • 'Friendly staff' are a hotel's greatest asset. Or they can spell the end of your privacy as they drop by at all (the wrong) times with everything from the day's activity sheets to clean towels and the offer of a massage, or they quiz you in the corridors.
  • 'Walking distance to the beach'. Walking distance from where? And for whom? Some places assume that they are addressing marathon entrants and speak accordingly. When I am on holidays, anything over 50 metres in resort-speak should more accurately be described as 'a bracing hike'.
  • 'Family atmosphere' is fine if you like pint-sized service, but draw the line if junior starts to take your dinner order and pour your wine.
  • Phrases such as 'for the corporate/business traveller' hope you will imagine all sorts of glamour inclusions from fax outlets and a private spa to conference rooms and beyond. Be aware that in some less civilised contexts it might simply mean the room has a phone.
  • For most of us 'tropical' conjures up visions of swaying palms, brilliant waters over coral reefs edged by sparkling sand. Just remember the flipside, though - 90 percent humidity, frequent rain showers and spiders the size of small monkeys!
  • And when it comes to local attractions, the same sorts of definitions may hold true. 'Popular' can spell long queues, fast-food stands that run out of burgers just as you reach the counter, and a noise level that makes sitting in the middle of the airport runway sound like a quiet alternative. On the other hand 'uncrowded' might mean that even the locals are staying away in droves.
  • 'Leisurely' may be subtitled 'boring' if you are unlucky.
  • 'Open-air' can simply refer to the fact that the roof blew off last season; 'air-conditioned' could mean the windows open easily.
  • Being advised to 'book ahead' is not always a sign of a place's great popularity - it might be the difference between 'open for business' and 'closed for the season'. 

It's all in your interpretation. Often.


One thing is certain. If you make a mistake in your choice of vacation spot, no one need ever know.

When your friends ask how was the trip, all you have to do is say: "Tropical, secluded, leisurely... walking distance from everything. And the staff were so-o-o friendly."

You can do it. As the proverb says: it's easy!

by Sally Hammond

 

Do you have any phrases or words you can add to this?

 

Add comment


Security code
Refresh

Related Articles

231_15676799571_5105_n

 

 

Www.Foodandtravel.Com.Au - Australia

Best Food Travel Website 2021

 


foodandtravel.com.au has been awarded

Best Antipodean Culinary Travel Expert, 2019

by the prestigious UK-based magazine...

 

 

 

Planning a visit to Kerala? The old port district of Kochi is well worth seeing, as well.

Our tuk-tuk driver, Shaheer, showed us the secrets of the narrow back streets. To contact Shaheer...

Email Shaheer HERE...

Mobile: 9946129040

More about Kochi...

 


 

LISTEN TO SALLY'S PODCASTS...

...from all around the world

Tune in and hear her talks on     

Radio 2GB 873AM....

 

 

WHO LIKES SWISS CHEESE?

Did you miss seeing the recent story of the Swiss festival of cows coming down from the mountains?

Read about it for yourself...

 


 

Denmark Delivers

Copenhagen's canals, a palace with pomp and cermnony, a kilometre-long shopping street, crayon-cooured canal-front dining...

...what more can a visitor ask for? Find out, because there is much more.

 


 

History and beauty with a dash of fun...

...and that's just the beginning of Armenia!

 


 

Zany Zadar & Croatia's north

Crazy and beautiful, a place everyone should visit.

Read more...

 


 

Lovely Lisbon ~ and beyond. Sardines and secrets!

Find out much more here.... 

 


 

Two virtual visits to Ontario

here....

AND

.....here!

 


 

Where is Tbilisi? 

Once you discover its beauty and history, you will be making plans to visit as soon as you can.

Read more....

 


 

Madrid the marvelous - so much to see in Spain's capital.

See it all here....

 


 

If you missed reading about Thailand's organic produce....

Here is the new link....

 


 

Here's something fun to check out!

The world's most popular surnames ....

...by country

 


 

~ Northern Spain ~

mountains and miracles - and much more!

After this journey, many people will never see the world the same way again.

 

Find out why....

 


 

Visit Portugal's beautiful

hearl....

Gondolas, cathedrals, cakes and a palace thrown in for good measure.

See for yourself!

 


 

And how about these vineyards in Georgia?

See other gardens in strange locations here....

 


 

 

Make your own food and travel videos? YES YOU CAN!

Gordon Hammond gives some insider tips.....

 


 

Travelling to Sydney? The northern beaches are spectacular.

See what we mean...

 


 

Hungary has something for every traveller.

Especially those who love good food...